plow
^
(Friday, July 23 2004 - Molson Indy Weekend)
skipped vball thursday night to attend a service @ BAC. passed up on a "waterfight" tonight too (that would've been fun, it was lke 30C today!)...but oh well, next week. this group from South Calgary E-free (Josiah n Miriam's church) was putting on this presentation tonight so i decided to go check it out. reminded me a lot of CCF's lifesong productions; had music, skits/drama, slideshows, short message, and a testimony thrown in too. this girl basically shared about how she finally decided to start turning her life around after being inspired by the courage of her friend who had been diagnosed with cancer, courage that she continued to show even until it was time for her to leave this world at such an early age. i'm glad i went, n they're off to 2 other churches in van n then one more in merrit before they head home to alberta. lyrics from the chorus of this new song they played that night kinda stuck out at me:
"...and all that I am unto You I surrender
Lord there is none like You
And I know that I stand in the arms of forever
Lord there is none like You
There is none like You"
- from "All" by Joel Houston
they had this short reflection time too, n just before they had it their pastor posed the question to us: "who has your heart? does the world have it, or does God have it?" (or somethin' like that). n so i started thinking to myself during that time...is my heart really ready to surrender? it sure felt like i was at times, but i had to be honest to myself n admit that there are things of this world that i still cling to desparately. i mean yeah, ok, there are certain things i've given/committed to God, but still there are habits, ways of thinking, etc...that are probably still not the way they should be, and they probably never will because i'm not perfect...but i think i need to take some initiative n start somewhere, if not outwardly, then at least where it counts; inside my heart.
i mean ok, not to pat myself on the back or anything, but i think i've come a long way so far, and i've enjoyed every bit of the journey...but there's still a long way to go. from "baby-steps" like regularly attending fellowship, church, sunday school, to serving, n who knows maybe one day going on missions n stuff? would i like to go on a missions trip somewhere? yeh. would i like to help out those in need, use the gifts God has given me to touch the lives of others? yeh. i was thinkin to myself tonight; it's all possible, but.... n that "but" struck me as a major stumbling block.
while i was reflecting this verse popped into my head (again, i can't remember the book...somewhere in the NT =P), the one that says something like how no one who puts his hand on the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God. there's that "but". i can practically see myself; hands on the plow...sometimes just one, sometimes both, sometimes even working hard and forging ahead. but more often than not i think i'm just standing still with my head turned and looking back. looking and sometimes even longing for various "needs" and wants for myself, etc...things that may not necessarily cause my walk to go in the wrong direction, but may nonetheless make it more difficult.
luckily, what used to be so desirable has actually started to look less attractive as i continue growing n learning, but still i have those moments. i think they're less frequent now as i mature and grow more committed, and then i remember in my heart that the ground that has been "plowed" has yet to grow and be harvested, and when it does then the rejoicing begins...
alright. i can see through the window of this office in the building across from us, n some fat guy is sittin' at his desk scratching his ass. *lovely* man those indy cars are loud...i think i can hear them over here right now. should go take some pictures.
anyhoo...enough outta me. here's some shots of the library i took the other day:
inside...
Friday: after work...
snapped these shots of the Molson Indy while riding home on the skytrain today. not the best, but nyeh, i'll keep 'em here for memory's sake...
must've had to take a pee break...
Saturday, July 24 2004
notes:
-lazy morning, felt like goin for a run
-blazin hot, like +30C
-lazed around the house after that till about 1530
-got a call, beach bbq, drove through mad traffic to get there
-got to the beach around 1700
-yet another "surprise" farewell bbq for Jen (man, leave already! haha j/j)
-had a burger, played some vball
-cops showed up on atvs n started hassling this group of nams bbqing across this parking lot from us, who knows?
-almostthought i had an opportunity to snap a pic of those police atvs, i so wanted to hop on when they weren't around, but by the time i got over there the bugger was heading my way so i missed my chance =-ate some burgers, cleaned up, played some pickup beach vball (man i suck in sand, must play more!)
-thought i'd stick around n try to get pics of the sunset, then decided to listen to my belly n go look for food instead...=P
*sidenote*: lil sister finished her last day of workin as a "litter-cleaner" at the Indy (walkin' around for 3 days in the blazing sun), first thing she says to me when she gets home makes it to "quote of the moment"...